Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize