she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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