i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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