It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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