just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
