Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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