I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
