I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
