Are we in a gay sports bar?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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