i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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