I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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