when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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