Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
did you just send me my own nude
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
