she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
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I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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