Well douche your snatch and let's go!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
