how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
