I wish I could teleport
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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