Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We are all done wearing pants today
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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