I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Apparently you make a good broom.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
