remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
