Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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