Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
