you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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