if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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