We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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