he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize