Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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