So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
