peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
