So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
