CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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