The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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