Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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