if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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