I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
