I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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