What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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