Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
