My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
