Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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