Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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