the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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