It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
