I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
