Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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