But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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