Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize