Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
