Its about making memories worth repressing
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
