I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
