its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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