if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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