the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
