thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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