what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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