If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
