Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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