Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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