By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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