how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
