i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
