Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize