On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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