i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
