You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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