the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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