I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
