Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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