Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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